My name is Michael. I used to be a baby but then I gradually became older.
I write. Books, plays, essays, poems, letters, tweets... lots of things, really. I'm a fan of the written word. And not to be immodest but I'm quite good at it. Some people who are good at things are also successful at them. Not me. I'm highly unsuccessful. Breathtakingly unsuccessful, really. In keeping with this theme, this tumblr will be dedicated to things created in my brain that are quite good but very unsuccessful.
Not that I enjoy being unsuccessful, incidentally. Far from it. My ultimate ambition is that I'll one day be so successful as to be referred to by all major media outlets as "The Nation's Princess." I think I'd like that.
I'd also like history to remember me for having never seduced an otter and never having been mistaken for Aegir, the Norse god of the sea.
In a lot of ways, I consider those my two finest accomplishments.
Me in Twitter form